By Egolofo Foodlemeister IV
Special to HondaReport.com the Fantasy Football League Newsletter
hrcFantasyLeague@aol.com
Monday, Sept. 25, 2006

'Twas a nightmarish weekend indeed on the banks of the Ala Wai Canal ...

Here's the skinny as Monday Night beckons.

• Katoosh League > Wildmen 188, Ala Wai Park '76ers 177
Wildmen have RB Warrick Dunn remaining.
'76ers have RB Reggie Bush, DB Kevin Mathis, DB Deangelo Hall. I like my chances ... but if Dunn goes OFF and Bush doesn't get touches, it could be an easy win for the Wildmen. What is a Wildman anyway? Where do I start looking when I put the logo together? Hmmmm ...

• Ohana League > Parkpill 110.50, Ala Wai Foodlemeisters 110.14
My guys are pau, while Parkpill still has Warrick Dunn (do you notice a pattern here?) left. My best hope — my only hope — is for Dunn to run and catch for negative yardage ... that would be -1 yard, then leave the game for an undisclosed reason. Maybe have a Joe Paterno moment. (I learned long ago to never wish injury on an player for any reason, especially selfish Fantasy sports reasons. I've seen the bachi happen many a time.) ... I never thought that Brett Favre (31.10 points) would outplay my guy Kurt Warner (9.24) so badly ... Favre! Then again, Ladell Betts (24.60) kept me close. I now respect this guy after wanting to unload him so badly the first two weeks.

• HAPPY League > Irse Idiots Too 83.24, Ala Wai U-Drive Boat 65.72
Subscribing to the He'll be tired after a Monday Night game theory, I benched RB Willie Parker and started RB Deangelo Williams. Carolina went ahead and gave Deshaun Foster a ton of carries and Williams was shown his place in the pecking order (four carries, -1 yard, -.10 points). It's a shame because Williams is the better, more productive back. Stupid Panthers. Of course, Parker went off on Cincinnati (133 yards, two TDs, 29.10 points). A lesson to stick with the established starters no matter what. Stupid Panthers ... but overall my U-Drive Boat team sucks. That was a horrendo draft and I'm gonna pay the price all season. A .500 record will be my consolation prize.

• Pupule League > SportsHawaii.com 113.20, Ala Wai ToxiCudas 104.66
Bye week for a few of my starters really hurt, but I still had a shot with Peyton Manning. What happens? Peyton has just 19 points while his brother Eli, who is SportsHawaii.com's QB, goes off for 31 points despite three interceptions in the Giants' fugly loss at Seattle. Meanwhile, all Peyton does is win. That's the lovely world of Fantasy Football for ya. ... My team is pau for the weekend, while SPH (Scott) still has TE Marques Colston lining up tonight. Maybe Colston will catch a screen passs for an 90-yard loss, have a Shockey on the sideline and be sent to the lockerroom in the first quarter. See. I'm not wishing for an injury. Then the ToxiCudas would win 104.66 to 104.20. Yeah. It could happen.

Rough weekend, all in all, for my teams. Including another team in the Star-Bulletin fantasy league, I could go 0-for-5. The bizarre thing is, I still had fun. This is a sickness. :)

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