Here are notes for my sister, who has a cat who has returned to his adolescent behavior: urinating in the house on the floor. (At least it wasn't on her computer or desk again.) She spent the next few minutes cleaning the mess. I wasn't surprised given the fact that he'd been acting defiantly lately and she had been allowing it.

I hadn't given the peeing incident much thought until today. She called me to tell me that I won't be house-sitting for her this week, that her trip has been cancelled. Then suddenly she reversed field and blamed me for her cat peeing on her kitchen floor last week. "Frankie" is a sometimes sullen Siamese who is 48 in cat years, I'm told. I've known him nearly the entire time.

Instead of riding along with my sis, whose tone informed me that she was trying to instigate an argument ... I just chilled out and talked it through with her until she hung up. Then I wrote this for her to read. Hopefully, calmly.

The names used in these notes have been changed to protect the identities of the perpetrator and victims.

Since you brought it up ...

1. Frankie pees on tables, floors, etc. when he wants attention, when he wants to assert his dominance, mark his territory. He did it on a regular basis for a one-year span about three years ago back at the other house when he was competing (in his mind) with the stray cat outside. Plus, when you're not home much, he's basically a latchkey cat. Some cats are OK with that. Not him.

2. He's an alpha cat, at least in his mind. So he doesn't know or want to know that he can just wait for you to sit down and relax before he gets his attention from you. Clearly.

3. Because he doesn't have the patience to wait, he takes "initiative" by dictating what goes on. In his case, that means peeing on the floor (marking his territory visibly) in the most obvious, most commonly used pathway in the house (the floor between the kitchen and living room). He shows his alpha side often, especially when he "owns" your bed while you're not home. Either he thinks you're his mama or his girlfriend. That's how some animals think.

4. The reason he does the peeing when you're around is because he knows there are consequences for certain behavior when I'm the alpha in the house (which is when you're not home). He and I know each other so well that I don't have to raise my voice, touch him or anything else to get what I want. He knows the boundaries, rules and limitations when I'm there, and I am consistent. (I occasionally have to remind your son not to raise his voice when Frankie misbehaves.) That's why I can pet him when he wants to be petted. Nobody scratches under his chin as well as I do. That's also why I'm happy to leave him alone when he wants to be alone. Same with Calvin. Cats don't respond well to people who give them whatever they want. They respond to calm, assertive leadership.

5. Once you return home, you are his source of attention, control and power. He taps into you (the alpha), and when you don't respond immediately, he may revert back to rebellious behavior. Unfortunately, this began last week when you turned on the kitchen faucet and let it run for five minutes straight. This tells him that he gets his way even when fresh water is available to him in the water dish on the floor. Special treatment does not help Frankie at all. I've seen this for several years and it sparks negative behavior, unfortunately.

6. Frankie is the type of cat who needed strong discipline when he was a wild one. Otherwise, he would still be pissing on your paperwork, laptop, floors, sofas, etc. to this day and I seriously doubt you would still have him in the house even though we all love him. I believe in discipline with love. In some cases, toughlove is required.

7. When you return home every day, be sure to take control of your territory. It is your turf, not a cat's. That means being wise. That means if he jumps onto the counter and demands faucet water, you say no. However, if you ask him to jump up and have faucet water, that's OK. It has to be on YOUR terms, not his. When YOU want him to have it. Not him. Big difference, ne?

8. On the day Frankie peed on your floor, he was indoors the entire day. I think that's a factor in the way he behaves sometimes. Ever since you've allowed him to play outside, he's been calmer and more balanced once he comes home. Also in better physical shape, not fat anymore.

9. Might be worth investing a minute or two to pick him up and play with him when you come home. Maybe not. Who knows? Can't hurt. He's sensitive that way.

10. fyi, it's actually Calvin who is at the door far more often than Frankie when your car pulls into the garage. It's Calvin who is meowing and sitting patiently for you to enter. Frankie shows up sometimes just when the door opens. Then he's his usual pushy self, smearing his scent all over your ankles, shoes and your hand truck thing. haha.

11. You probably checked already, but it's possible that the litter box was "too full" for him to pee there.

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