I realized I'd had a weird, vivid dream.

We're on Lanai. Mom, me and my brother. And maybe someone else. We drive around. It starts out as a small town. Then it becomes more like Salt Lake with winding roads, lots of houses and even small condos. We pull into a parking garage. I look up at the building next door and there's a McDonald's on the top floor, people walking in and out.

We get out of the car, but Mom is still in it. Then a young woman, maybe a teenager, gets into the car and reverses it out of the stall. She's in a rush. We realize Mom's still in the car and as the girl tries to drive away, we step in front of the car to stop her. She hits the gas but stops before hitting us. We get Mom out of the car and I question the girl. She claims to be innocent. We don't know who she is at all. I'm angry. While I continue questioning her, Kimo sprints away.

Mom and I get into the elevator and it goes up and down and up and down. There's no ventilation and all the people in it are sweating. One lady complains about the lack of air. For some reason, the other people eventually get out but Mom and I are stuck. Finally, we hit the top floor and go to McDonald's.

That's where it ends. If it sounds kinda funny, that's because it kinda is. Mom used to take me and my brother grocery shopping at Ala Moana Foodland sometimes, back in the 1970s before it became Makai Market. We'd stop at McDonald's for dinner after that.

For my mom, who dedicated her life to us, it was the equivalent of a fancy dinner out on the town. Then we'd carry our brown bags of groceries out to the bus stop on Kapiolani Blvd. and wait for the #3 Ruger bus.

The dream isn't just about simple, good times with my mother. It's about a lot of stuff that's been going on the past week, stuff that hasn't been totally resolved within the family. I expect my mom to be respected. That was true before she passed and it's true now that she's gone. It's a long, stinky story behind what caused the dream, but basically, it's true that the subconscious mind will allow us to dream as a way to releasing stress caused by real-life events.

No answers, though. Just a release.

Today is the day, finally, when we have the funeral service for her. It's been almost three weeks since she died. I don't know what to expect tonight, but I doubt my heart will feel much better for a long time. It's OK. That's life, and that's what she meant to me. You can't have one without the other. You love someone dearly, it will hurt to lose her. Hurt bad.

I was fortunate to have a mother whom I could respect and love.

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